Much like every pregnancy, every miscarriage is different. There is no one size fits all here. I would like to tell you about my miscarriage experience – physically. The emotional aspects of my miscarriage are still confusing to me and I’m still trying to understand how I feel about the whole thing. So… here we go.
One day I was pregnant, the next day I was not.
I didn’t have any cramping. I didn’t have any noticeable signs that something wasn’t right. I just felt something in my underwear while standing in line at the bank. Not much, but something. Enough to make me think that it was more than just average pregnancy discharge. I got home, wiped, and noticed that the discharge was tinged with blood. Immediately I became scared – I knew I had to go into the hospital as it was the weekend and I couldn’t get a hold of my doctor. I am RH negative, so I knew I would need a shot. I had bleeding with my first pregnancy, a subchorionic hemorrhage that ended with a very healthy boy – so I remained very positive that everything would be okay. After all, I wasn’t even having any cramping.
At the hospital they took my blood and warned me about miscarriages. I had my hcg levels tested 4 days prior, so they would be able to tell if my levels were going up or down. While waiting for the blood results to return, the doctor decided to do an internal exam to examine my cervix to see if it was open or closed. While on the way to the examination room I began to bleed more heavily and darker red blood – yet still no cramping or anything else. The doctor said she could see blood was coming from the cervix, but that my cervix was still closed. She seemed hopeful, until she went to go get my blood results. My hcg levels had dropped by 28%. She said 35% is what they look for, so I was borderline. And because my cervix was still closed she couldn’t say if I was miscarrying or not. But I knew that I was. There was no other reason I could imagine that my levels would be dropping. She diagnosed me with a threatened miscarriage, gave me some information and reasons I would need to come back, and sent me on my way.
The rest of the afternoon/night I continued to bleed red, but not large amounts and no pain whatsoever. I did notice a few times throughout the night I would wake up and be in some discomfort though. I woke up at 8 am Sunday morning, at 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I immediately went to the bathroom to see if there was any more blood. As soon as I got in there I began to bleed very heavily, with tissue and some smaller clots coming out. I started to cramp and have incredible pain and began passing out. I called my husband to let him know it was happening and that I needed to go back to the hospital. I could barely handle the car ride there and the few minutes it took to triage me in the emergency room. The only other time I have ever felt pain like this was when I was delivering my son (a very fast and painful delivery). They gave me morphine and put me on fluids. My mouth was so dry – I felt so dehydrated. The oral morphine did not help so I had to have more through IV. The doctor did an internal exam to see if there were any large clots that were stuck at my cervix, as that can cause a lot of the pain. She said there were two large clots that were almost all the way through. She took them out and placed them on the table. I knew that was my baby. I asked her, and she said yes, and sent it off to pathology. She then ordered an ultrasound to be done, which determined I had a completed miscarriage – there were no tissues left in my uterus. They let me go home at 12:30.
I continued to bleed heavily the rest of the next few days. Then I would stop for 12-18 hours, thinking it was over, then bleed heavily again. That happened twice. Finally, a week after, I was only having old brown blood coming out and no more pain.
I did experience pregnancy symptoms still for a couple days after the miscarriage, but they subsided shortly after.
Physically, my miscarriage was incredibly painful, but I am thankful that it was fast and complete. I did not have to have any medication or a D and C to aid my miscarriage along. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone, and hope you do not have to go through this. However, if you are, please know that you are not alone and it is not your fault.